Bonding, Re-Bonding

I know I’m not certain where this image is from.  I think it’s from my office computer monitor, definitely a black & white film image.  I think I was probably monkeying around with my first medium frame film camera, a Mamiya 645 1000s that arrived at my home needing hours of work to redo the seals (so light wouldn’t leak in and infuse the film before its’ time).  Re-doing those seals ended up being kind of an exciting adventure that bonded my husband and I during a kind of rough patch in our marriage.  I vaguely recollect (because I was so busy!) that my business seemed to take over our lives.  “Hectic” and “crazy” come to mind when thinking about this era in our lives.  The distance between us growing larger as more time was taken up with business and extended family matters, our marriage shaky because of priorities less “us” focused and more selfish and business focused.

I remember sitting at our kitchen table working on fixing the seals for the camera, swabbing denatured alcohol on the old seals to clean them fully and prep them for adhesion of new seals.  Sort of like in real life I think.  We sometimes use our tears, instead of denatured alcohol, to wash through our pain and to attempt to start over again.  Sometimes it takes quite a few tears to prep yourself for re-bonding, I think.  It did in our case anyhow…

It’s all kind of blurry now.  Bonding, rebonding, blurred images and memories.  Relationships, much like old film cameras, require bonding and re-bonding.  Blurry images becoming blurry memories.


-11.13.2015 – MSD

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