Lonely, here on the beach
Dragons in tow
…as they swim
in the undertow
I withhold my reach
Towards you, my life raft
Last time I tried, I felt you laugh
(at my feeble attempts at being saved)
(maybe you didn’t but reaching out is brave…
and when you are met with silence it is easy to cave)
to insecurity and disbelief
I look towards the steps leading to the shore
Knowing that the headstrong ways
…are keeping you at bay
(stubbornness in relationships is the consistency you’ve gave)
I look towards the steps once more…
Hoping that your higher self will step in
That you will see yourself having fun
Maybe even go for a swim
(withholding being your greatest trait
…in the stubborn realm)
My life raft, my life saver, where are you now?
You kept me afloat only to leave me stranded…
…off shore
You kept me alive by your sheer will
You keep me at arm’s length now
Where is the man with all the chill to save me
…as my life’s blood ran out?
The ocean reaches towards me
…and the red dragons that I’ve tamed
Impossibly unseen
…except eyes entertained
(by beach goers delighted by the visions of feathered dragon dogs so fair
so skilled
…they chase flying creatures off the sand and swim offshore by sheer will)
I feel abandoned
…by he who I’ve devoted my life to
I feel abandoned
…it’s no surprise that I do
I feel abandoned
…by he who promised me truth
Is this the truth you’ve gave?
My sand castle being built on tears, sheer will and frustration
…when will you finally take that vacation?
…even for a minute to walk the beach with me?
…unencumbered by your phone or your current philosophy
…(of withholding emotion and love and empathy)
And most important of all: the presence to be my knight, shinging armor and all
I am incredibly sad
…and mad
…and glad
(I mean I am living “the dream”, allegedly)
When I manifested this shit I forget to specify
…you need to step up to be my king
I don’t want to rule my sand castle alone
…I also don’t want to long distance this love over the phone
I miss your touch
…your love
…your compassion
Where is my husband
The builder of castles of sand?
Where does he reside
…definitely not at the shore or near the tide!
Where are you when I need my man?
Where is the queen’s king?
Reverie, alone I watch dragons frolic, beachgoers laughing as my salty tears are absorbed by the sea
The queen of sand castles (renovated by you) – am I going to be free of this madness
…or will I be consumed by the sadness
…or will I be absorbed into the sea of me
What the hell my love, you fumble through life
At 53 years still filled with strife
What is this love if not grief
Sewn together with stitches of belief
Belief you will wake up
to the sound of my tears
And that you will see finally
How much time has passed in this prison you’ve built me
…over the years
The dungeon of sand castles fills with ocean
when the tides flow in
Will you release your head’s commotion
so we can finally join hands and swim?
