Sometimes it feels like the moment lasts forever, literally you feel like something is neverending. Sometimes at my kids’ functions my mind would wander off and think of my to do list or my current day dream…I wasn’t present. I wasn’t there. I think all moms are guilty of this, somewhere better, somewhere else.
Then looking back you realize that that your lack of presence defines you, well me anyway. I have had this notion that somehow because my brain wasn’t fully present I somehow slacked in some way.
Until your now 13 year old presents you with her notebook from when she was six or seven. And in it there are dozens of words written by you in careful script (so that the younger little could read it). The words were written in attempt to assist the child with words she was having difficulty verbalizing at the time, consonants and vowels that she found herself tripping upon. Linguistic handicaps that plagued the little from an early age…
The realization that you were never less than hits you. You’ve been enough. Maybe not perfect (God help the child with a perfect mother, actually). But you’ve been enough. Really that’s all you can ask for…to be enough.
So if by chance you read this and you’re beating yourself up for some shortcoming or another, some mom slip up or perhaps reactions from being stressed out in other areas of your life – don’t beat yourself up. You are enough. As long as you provide hugs, kisses, shelter, warmth, food and not too much insanity you are more than enough. And your little will (eventually) thank you for living for them and for the worries and for the sleepless nights (of course they won’t be a little anymore, it’ll likely happen when they have kids of their own!)
-11/14/15 MSD